So, I could not love my little guy more. Seriously, head over heels drowly kind of love. I camped out in my room-just the two of us-for a month. He will be spoiled. I cannot even swadle him-it seems mean. Though-I had no issues swaddling my girls. But-they weren't my last. They weren't him. My dear E.
I'm also suddenly-and finally-very happy. While my law firm has stalled to a drip or clients-I am excited to start rebuilding it. I will move my office this next week-to a small, walkable little town near the city. Three miles from my house. From my office I can see my courthouse and C's preschool. C's preschool is a long look-but still I can see it. And it's a short 1/4 mile walk. Sounds dreamy, eh?
My marriage is-I hate to admit it-better than it's ever been. I hate to admit-because what he did didn't have jack to do with me-as it ever does with any spouse-but I hate that *that's* how we got here. I had so much trouble getting over the fact-that he shattered our perfect life. It took me nearly a year-to realize-we never had the perfect marriage. He couldn't express his emotions-at all. I lived in denile because I could not admit that my marriage-that we-weren't the perfect couple that everyone knew. But we're happy. We made it. Most couples stay together-and that's (so far-and who knows what the future brings in any relationship) our story. After a lot of hardwork on both our parts-me learning to forgive (but not forget) and he committing to a lifetime (or at least for the next years?) of counseling and meetings. He's never been happier either. He beats himself up and still hates the fact that he will live with this "unending abyss of hurt" that will be there forever. Sometimes, it still makes one of us-or both teary eyed. The last time (on date night) it was him-after I told him, that I get it-finally-it had nothing to do with me. That it was assholish-but a symptom of a very heavy sickness. But he is a different-better-person after a lot of hardwork on his part. Two and a half years of counseling and meetings and a total commitment to us.
More later. Can't believe you're still reading. Happy that you are.
Baby E and K have droopy eyes and we all need sleep.
(the girls love our little E too.)
(can you blame us?)
Wonderful to hear.
+1
Posted by: arcade flash games | July 10, 2012 at 02:42 PM
So happy to see your babys,
God Bless
Becky's cousin in AZ
Posted by: Charlynn | March 19, 2012 at 12:22 AM
Three beautiful kiddos. YEAH!!! Are you still blogging over at the other place? Could I get an invite? I totally dropped the ball last summer when you said you were moving (I was pregnant with twins - very nerve wracking for me given my history). I used to read your PWP blog awhile back.
Baby E is goregeous! Hope you are well. Sounds like you all are doing great!
Posted by: flmgodog | March 01, 2012 at 12:34 PM
I'd love to have an invite to your other blog. I can't help but wonder what you are referring to, if we have similar stories perhaps about what we've experience the past few years. I am glad and encouraged to hear that things are now in a much better place for you!
Posted by: Platinum Rose | January 31, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Beautiful post, gorgeous family.
Wonderful to hear that you're happy, albeit tired...happy is a pretty nice place to be!
Posted by: Photogrl | January 19, 2012 at 12:52 PM
Wonderful to hear.
Posted by: megan | January 17, 2012 at 10:50 AM
Really missed you. I tried reaching out to you. I have a bun in the oven :-) I was thinking about you. You inspired me to go back to school... Congrats on a SON! :-) Lucky mama!! Nothing like mama's little boy... I know ;-)
Posted by: Heidi | January 16, 2012 at 05:19 PM
OMgoodness-I promise I can spell. This is why I am so hesitant to blog when I'm tired. which is always.
Posted by: Apron Strings | January 16, 2012 at 02:14 PM
You sound so happy and content. Your girls are gorgeous, but being a boy Mamma myself I have to say that E has stolen my heart as well.
xxx
Posted by: SCY | January 16, 2012 at 01:44 AM
So happy for all of you!
Posted by: melissa | January 15, 2012 at 05:17 AM
Your post... whoa. It really resonated with me. If you're up for it, you should check my latest post (password is same as it ever was, only with an "!" on the end...). I'd love your input.
Your girls and E are just adorable. Adorable, adorable, adorable.
Posted by: Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) | January 15, 2012 at 12:10 AM
So good to hear from you and to know that things are going well. Hope to hear a lot more soon - and see a lot more pics!
Posted by: Brandy | January 14, 2012 at 10:54 PM
Glad you're doing so well, and all three of your babies are adorable!
Posted by: Sue | January 14, 2012 at 10:01 PM